in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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