My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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