Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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