that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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