these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize