love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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