You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize