im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize