so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
me + whiskey = a bad person
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
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