Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize