We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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