His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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