Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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