Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
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tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
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I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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