fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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