The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
false alarm. still invincible.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I party with great urgency now.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize