Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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