So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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