Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize