whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize