whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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