I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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