you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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