I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize