he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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