I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize