My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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