she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize