i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize