i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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