All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize