at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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