You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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