The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Is Oprah even human
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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