Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize