went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
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She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
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The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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