I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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