1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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