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we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
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