Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.

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  (412): im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems. http://tfl.nu/58jb
  Replies (17) Good night (659) Bad night (2610) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser

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  (313): you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser http://tfl.nu/1hpm
  Replies (16) Good night (4342) Bad night (734) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift

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  (917): under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift http://tfl.nu/rkcx
  Replies (52) Good night (5718) Bad night (1782) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..

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  (585): I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking.. http://tfl.nu/q39t
  Replies (10) Good night (3361) Bad night (733) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.

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  (515): The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker. http://tfl.nu/o20c
  Replies (15) Good night (705) Bad night (2756) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.

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  (716): Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan. http://tfl.nu/rfh9
  Replies (4) Good night (1713) Bad night (616) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.

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  (210): Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move. http://tfl.nu/2sh4
  Replies (4) Good night (1097) Bad night (563) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.

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  (515): You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it. http://tfl.nu/irby
  Replies (5) Good night (664) Bad night (2712) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.

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  (502): The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him. http://tfl.nu/w8du
  Replies (13) Good night (1832) Bad night (566) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  he's gonorrhea incarnate

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  (201): he's gonorrhea incarnate http://tfl.nu/krir
  Replies (2) Good night (364) Bad night (1229) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room

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  (661): Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room http://tfl.nu/4z49
  Replies (9) Good night (2049) Bad night (401) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?

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  (208): Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow? http://tfl.nu/sft8
  Replies (3) Good night (627) Bad night (218)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name

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  (646): Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name http://tfl.nu/j3ir
  Replies (5) Good night (337) Bad night (616) Order T-Shirt
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again

  (1-417): View more from Missouri

  I will be over with a bedpan and beer

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  (417): I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again (1-417): I will be over with a bedpan and beer http://tfl.nu/dsbf
  Replies (3) Good night (512) Bad night (152) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.

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  (832): He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things. http://tfl.nu/i4w8
  Replies (2) Good night (193) Bad night (138) Order T-Shirt

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