your parents love me but you hate me
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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