i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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