I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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