I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
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Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
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I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Your penis caused this!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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