i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
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He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
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I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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