Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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