I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
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Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
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And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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