his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize