yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
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I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
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I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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