I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize